I actually came down with the stomach flu while I was still in treatment. To Steven, who had been looking for a piece of land where they could build a house and start a family, the news was devastating. I got it. As a bulemic who's got a fairly good grip on myself for the last decade, this is one of the signs that helps me stay focused on the fact that I cannot relax on this front. His libido vanishes. He lights up when he talks about it. That's a rather terrible thing to admit, but it comes from my increasingly desperate attempts to control my bingeing and weight.
I could be a human again. This involves making oneself vomit by tickling the back of the throat with the fingers. When his brother was born, John was sent to preschool, where he refused to eat unless he was fed by hand. Breakfast, for example, is thirty grams of oatmeal with one chopped apple and one cup—" to grams"—of blueberries. The new thing was about controlling my food and my body so that I could look and feel good, fit in. People come to yoga for many reasons — to stretch the hamstrings, to build a mind-body connection, to increase self-awareness.